Here’s a super dope remix for the adidas commercial Fast Don’t Lie featuring Slim Chin (aka Ken Jeong), Dwight Howard, and Derrick Rose. The trio admonish aspiring ballers – both literal and figurative! – on how one should become truly successful in the world with a rousing hook, “Fast Don’t Lie.’ With success mainly being measured by dunks, and also, cubic meters of caviar. It’s all about the quickishness.

Fast Don’t Lie Remix

Lyrics to Fast Don’t Lie Remix

What up world?
I’m Slim Chin, ‘Beast from the Far East.’
This is Dwight Howard
‘Beast from the Regular East.’
Think i got this crib by being slow?
I got this ’cause i’m fast!
Think i got this solid gold jet ski by being slow?
I got this ’cause i’m fast!
Fast Don’t Lie
Fast Don’t Lie

Think i got this caviar pool by being slow?
I got this ’cause i’m fast!
Think i got this benjamin pile by being slow?
I got this ’cause i’m fast!
Off quicker than a prom dress,
A prom dress.
TIME’S UP!
You’re too slow.

*spoken tenderly*
Dwight, play that thing that you play so well.
No, not really.
No, close.
I, I got it.
Sing Song Time!

*sung*
Fast Don’t Lie!
Fast Don’t Lie!
F-A-S-T, D-U-N-T, L-I-E.
EEEEEEEEE
FAST DON’T LIE!
WHAT?
FAST DON’T LIE!

Get freaky, get, get freaky,
Get freaky like my LADY PYRAMID!

*yelled*
I’m Slim Chin and I’m OUT!